Job Woes

Well this was supposed to be angry tirade against all that is wrong with my job, but I'm a little removed from my shift and I don't really feel that passionate anger burning inside me anymore. That being said, the rant is still coming. It's just a kinder, more gentler version. But first, some background. I drive the campus shuttle buses, and overall it is a good job. Pays well, like my co-workers, and usually I can listen to music when I'm driving. All in all not too bad. There are a few things that get on my nerves, and I figured I'd write it out in list form...so pay attention passengers cause most of this shit is directed at you.

9 Things Guaranteed to Piss off your friendly Bus Driver (Cause I couldn't think of 10)
1. When you do NOT ask to get off at a stop that you know the bus does not usually stop at...and then you blame me. Ummm...how does that make sense? Our buses only have a few stops where we actually have to stop, the rest of the stops, the passenger has TO ASK US. I'm not effing psychic, I can't read your mind, and I will NOT be making eye contact with you because guess what? I'm effing driving.

2. I know our shuttle buses are free (for the most part) but there are some occasions when if you walked instead taking the bus, you might actually get some more exercise. I mean, lets say your car is in the parking lot. You walk to your car right? I kid you not, passengers will get on my bus, and ask for me to literally drop them off 200 yards down the street. Exercise people! America is fat enough as it is!

3. For crying out loud, if you are about to get on the bus, and you see someone getting off? WAIT FOR THEM TO GET OFF. It's just common courtesy right? I mean, why say "oops, excuse me" and STILL push your way past the passenger getting off? That's like me saying you're ugly, and then saying that I didn't mean it but that you should still get plastic surgery.

4. When I see you walking down the street, shooting the shit, drinking some tea, and you make me wait for you while you slowly take your time to get to my bus. DUDES...(and dudettes) we are on a schedule, and most of the times, we're either late or on time. That means regardless, most of the time, you (the passenger) are LATE. And if we wait for you, then that makes us even more late, so if you're late and you see a bus waiting for you? You better run like Forrest or else I'm gonna peace out.

5. IF you know you are getting off at a stop before everyone else is, and you know that the bus is going to be full (which is actually really easy to figure out), STAY NEAR THE FRONT OF THE BUS. I mean, if you go to the back of the bus, not only are you making me late, you're making your fellow passengers late. Why? Because they have to get off the bus, so that you can get off. And then they have to get on the bus. Like. Back on the bus. For you. The sad truth my friend is that you're just not that important enough to be making people get off and on a bus for you. Please, just be considerate of other peeps, thats all I'm asking.

6. So if whoever is reading this hasn't realized by now that I'm a bus driver...well, I hope you have. I'm just going to go out on a limb here and believe that you agree with me when I say my job is to drive the bus? Right? Right! My job should not include PICKING UP YOUR TRASH. Seriously? I mean how hard is it to bring your trash with you? As hard as this is to believe, I am not training for a future career as a janitor. I unfortunately, hate picking up trash. Weird huh? SO THROW IT AWAY. You throw away your empty popcorn box at the theater right? Just think of my bus as an ocean. Filled with cute little baby seals. Every piece of trash you throw away is going to choke and kill my cute little baby seals. Do the right thing. Save the animals.

7. Please stop asking me to drop you off at the corner. Or by that stop light. Or next to that cute girl walking down the street. Do I look like a taxi? Am I bright yellow? Do I have a little thing on my dash that counts how much money you owe me? NO. I am a bus driver. I have designated stops. And I will definitely get into trouble if I just let you off randomly somewhere. So STOP ASKING.

8. Quit cutting me off a-holes

9. Stop walking in front of the bus when you get off! But why? Oh I dunno, maybe cause its dangerous??!! Do I even have to say more? Aside from that, when your friend drops you off somewhere, do you walk in front of their car? No, you don't, because they'd probably call you a douchebag. WAIT until the bus leaves before you cross the street. K thanks!

Wellzor, thats about it. But in all honesty, you passengers are luvverly. Us bus drivers tend to be way more bitter because something we think is easy to do is mainly just because we see it everyday. Whats that one thing...we kid because we care. STILL. Try to not do the above, and we be kewl. LOL. ROFL Copter!! Pwnzor!! LMAO!!! lollllzzz!!

TEFL me blue and douchey dudes

Sup yall,

It's been a while so I thought I'd post. Let you know a little about how this here TEFL certificate is going. Right now we're on Module 5, which is focusing on how to do Reading with ESL students. Or ELL students. Or EFL students. I mean seriously, how many effing E student things are there? And which one is right? Did you know that not only can you get a TEFL certificate, you can also get a TESOL certificate? What's the difference? That's a good question. I have no idea. All I know is that it better get me a job somewhere that is far far away from the United States. Preferably a place with air conditioning, fine wine, and lots of women...just kidding! (Love you Jenn). Speaking of which, it was our 4 year something something anniversary last week and all I can say about that is goodness gracious thats a long time! But despite the longness of our relationship (haha longness, is that a word?) I still feel like I did when I first started dating Jenn. I love her! And some people always act so surprised and they shouldn't be. I mean, sorry I'm not like all the other dbags out there that can't stay in a relationship longer than 3 weeks. Which brings me to another point. I effing hate douchebags who treat women like dirt, and I especially hate dbags that are liars. I mean, I know I'm not the only good guy out there, but when I read stuff about guys being jerks and cheating on their girlfriends it just pisses me off. I know I can't really change anything about that, so all I can really hope is that those dbags all get syphillis from their cheating ways and realize that they're just going to end up sad and alone. I mean, girls deserve better! Right? WOW, I totally went off topic, but yeah, back to the TEFL stuff. I said I was going to talk about technology, and my professor totally showed us this cool website. It's a place where you can make your own jeopardy game, so check it out if your a teacher cause Jeopardy is ridonkulously fun.
http://jeopardylabs.com/
What else? Don't really got much else to say. Narrowed down my list of countries that I want to work in. Japan and Europe. Is Europe even a country? Should I even be asking that question? I do go to college right? Wait, i'm gonna google it. Oh shit. Well damm, I guess I haven't really narrowed things down at all. Apparently Europe is like a continent? And it has a lot of states like Italy, Spain, and stuff. Haha just kidding, countries, not states. Huh. Well I'm obviously tired so I'm gonna call it a night. Thanks for listening to my rant about dbags and I will talk to you all later.

Pea soup,
Flukimus Prime

Dude, that was scary

So today I thought I'd talked about...well, I don't know really. But I did promise to update my blog. I know I said beforehand that I was just going to talk about TEFL stuff and how I plan to teach abroad, but that can get boring. Actually, it would be boring, especially if you weren't going to teach overseas. That's why I'm going to intersperse, or shall we say sprinkle, like cheddar cheese over chili and french fries my Teaching Overseas/TEFL posts with random posts about whatever. Speaking of which, just the other night my roommate and I were walking back from InNOut when an effing werewolf jumps out of the bushes. Now, I'm not sure if animals are smart. But I think this guy was. Like, can werewolfs laugh? Cause I literally jumped into the air and screamed like a little girl. And no. It was really a werewolf. It wasn't just a cute little rabbit or anything, cough cough. But that's beside the point, what I really wanted to ask my loyal followers (yes, all 3 of you, myself included hahahhaha) about is what my roommate said right after said werewolf (OK FINE it was a rabbit, werewolf just sounds cooler) jumped out of the bushes and scared us. He was like, "Dude, Fluke, that rabbit literally scared me half to death!" Now lets think about that shall we? Like, hmmm, so the rabbit only scared my roommate half to death? I mean, thank god we didn't see another rabbit right? Cause then my roommate would be scared half to death again...and then wouldn't that make him dead? Like, if you get scared half to death twice, does that mean you're scared to death? And I know people do say that, like, "Damm, snakes scare me to death!" I mean, at which point, if someone said that to me, I would probably run. Cause if that person is scared to death, then they'd be dead right? And if he or she is talking to me, then wouldn't that person technically be like a zombie? Think about it. What did this have to do with anything by the way?? Nothing! Sowwy :(. I'll write some TEFL stuff next time, got some technology to discuss.

Smell ya later!!
Flukerton

TEFLing ain't easy

So yeah, Fluke here, updating yalls with another post. So I thought I'd go over step one for my ultimate goal of teaching overseas. After finding out that I couldn't just wing it and get lucky, I realized that you needed to get TEFL certified. What does TEFL stand for? Teaching English as a Foreign language. Apparently not all countries need it, I know some people teaching in South Korea who didn't have any experience whatsoever. But certain countries do require it, and being over-qualified can't do anything but help right? So basically I found out that the university I go to does offer TEFL certification...for like FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS. After finding out how effing expensive that was, I decided to look elsewhere. I found this TEFL certification program online that seemed pretty legit, was way cheaper, and would still get me a certificate. So I ponied up the money and signed up (Actually, me mum gave it to me as a graduation present). Here's a linky if any of you loyal readers are interested (haha its funny cause I have none...wait, is that even really funny? Or just sad?? haha awwww....)
http://www.teflinstitute.com/
Guess we will find out how legit it is once I see whether or not I can get a job teaching overseas. So basically, its a 9 week program that I started 3 weeks ago. This week we are learning about lesson planning for auditory and speaking activities. Lesson planning is a lot harder than I thought, but there is something oddly satisfying about having a schedule. I guess thats why people have planners. They must like being organized. I myself actually love trees, and hate wasting paper, so I keep that stuff in my head. Okay, not really, I'm just lazy. AND that is that. TEFL certification in a nutshell.

Until next time,
Fluker

My Blog!!!

So this is officially my...fourth attempt at creating a blog? I don't believe I've actually posted in any but there is a first time for everything and this is it! I think the problem that I've had with my previous blogs (if you could call them that) is that I have had nothing to write about. It's not that I don't think my life is interesting...it's just that I tend to have a routine. I usually do the same things over and over again and if I write about the same things over and over again people might...fall asleep. Get bored, and never read my blog ever again. That being said, I'd be happy right now if just one person read this blog. But I'm getting sidetracked. I actually do have something to blog about now, my daily routines! Haha just kidding. I'm going to graduate from college pretty soon here, I'd tell you which one but I'm not down for letting people know that. I'm kind of a private guy, which is why I'm writing a blog that is open to millions of people. I know, it makes sense huh? Anyways, back to why I'm starting this blog. I'm graduating. Sooner than I'd like. And I need to do something with my life. This crappy economy (at least thats what I've heard) is not conducive to me getting rich, so I thought I'd take a year off to teach English overseas. And Boom! We finally get to my purpose. I thought I'd chronicle my efforts to become an English teacher overseas. As I've soon discovered, you can't just show up to another country and expect people to hand you a job. Even if it is to teach the language you've been speaking for the past 20 or so years of your life. This is going to be hard. This is going to be long (That's what she said), but I'm hoping its going to be worthwhile. Coming up next blog??? TEFL certification and what its all about. (aka step one)

Peace, love, recycle
Fluke