What did I eat today??!! Another lean cuisine! Dang, two days in a row of eating something healthy? Is it healthy? I know its low in calories. So I guess its healthy? Well, it was pretty delicious, pasta romano with...bacon! Yeah, starting to see a trend here and its only day two of my food intake chronicling. And that was all I ate today!! ...until dinner :( lets see, for dinner, I had two and half spicy italian sausages. Hehe...sausages. I watched a comedian the other day, Steve Byrnes, and he was like, guys will know that they have finally matured when they can hear the word Bangkok, and not laugh. Even on the inside. So. Bangkok. Haha. Damm it. I just laughed. Ruh oh. Not just sausages, I had to have some starch with it. So I made some veggie fried rice. Haha ok, not really, I just poured it out of a Trader Joes bag and fried it. i love Tjoes, they have everything frozen.

So that was my meal! I should weigh myself to see if I lost any weight? Eh. Whatever. I feel skinnier? Today I played video games for 4 plus hours!! Same game. What a marathon huh? I did do like 20 minutes of cardio with jump rope. Its a pretty good work out! Try it! Cause I hate running. I just hate exercising with no sole purpose. I mean, okay, there is always a purpose in exercising but I just mean that I hate exercising with no competition in it. I like sports, not running by myself for an hour (more like 20 minutes).

And its late so bed time

Night cakes

I like the Lakers??

Hey! Long time no write huh so I figured I'd drop a post in. I'm not gonna lie, don't have much going on right now, but I'm still too lazy to write. It's because I don't have anything to write about. I do have to say this though, I think this may be the one year I actually root for the Lakers to win the championship. I mean...I really don't want the Heat to win. What with Lebron, Wade and Bosh over there, they're like the effing the Yankees now. Just buying up stars to play together. It's like Microsoft buying Apple and selling PCMacs. It just doesn't make sense. And the Lakers are just, well, the Lakers. I know, what is going on right? I mean, how can I like the Lakers? Well, how could Tiger and Lebron go from beloved to hated in just a year or so? At least Kobe isn't a bitch like Lebron...

Lets see, I'm trying to lose weight, but when I say trying, I mean that in the most vaguest of senses. I still eat what I want, I just eat less? Nah, more like, I wake up and say to myself, "hmmm, I could eat now..." But then I just eat later. So instead of eating like three meals I just eat two. Oooh! I know what I can write about! Eating! So lets see, today in my quest to lose weight, I had a lean cuisine. Linguini Carbonara. I don't really know what that is, but on the box it said it had bacon, and really, everything is better with bacon. Anyways, that was like less than 300 calories! Not bad huh? And that was all I ate!!! ...until dinner. For dinner I had a burrito and two fish tacos. Not too bad right? Hmmm, maybe I should write down what I eat for the rest of this week. Maybe it will tell me something about my eating habits? Maybe it will make me feel like a fatty? Maybe I will be disgusted at myself and eat nothing but rabbit food for the rest of my life? Hopefully not but hey, gives me an excuse to write in my blog right?

Pea soup

A few things I've learned this summer

1. Don't buy food when you're hungry and just finished with a work-out. Or else you'll end up buying three fish tacos, a large fry, a large cherry coke, and two chicken burritos...which then negates said work-out. :(

2. The US game reminded me of why I just can't stand soccer (or as the rest of the world calls it, football) sometimes. USA was down 2-1, and they needed all the time they could get to tie it up. Ghana pulls some trick ass shit, walking to corner/goal kicks, taking forever on throw-ins, FAKING injuries and laying there in order to waste time, and the worst thing about all this?? The time keeps running. Why not just stop the clock for an injury or every time the ball goes out of bounds so Ghana or any other team for that matter doesn't pull that bs at the end of the game. Injury time added on by the refs is never enough and its bs that the ref gets to decide how much time to tack on. If they really wanted to do it right they would actually count the time that Ghana wasted, and add that on as injury time. Come on, I know we got the tech to do it...

3. The US game reminded me of why I love soccer (or football). There is just nothing as great as that moment when your team finally breaks through to score that goal. I was at a bar with some friends and the place just erupted when we got that penalty kick against Ghana. Overall, good showing by the US, despite the loss. We definitely showed some future talent, and looking forward to 2014. (And no, I will not give Ghana credit, they got lucky and I hope they lose to Uruguay)

4. Best time to go running is late afternoon or early evening. It's not as hot at that time and you still got some sun to keep you warm. Kinda nice being able to see the sun go down, makes the sky look pretty, no homo.

5. Staying on the running topic, running on dirt trails is so much better for the legs than cement. I switched to dirt trails from sidewalks and my knee is holding up a lot better.

...to be continued??

Dinner woes and Job Apps

Right, so I was making some food for dinner. Some spicy Italian sausages. Pretty much my dinner of choice. I kinda exhausted my limit for chicken. Chicken breast, oven roasted chicken, fried chicken, chicken soup, I've had it all and I'm over it! Beef is too expensive, so I pretty much just buy sausages. Hehe. I like how they taste...in my mouth. ANYways, I'm not much of a cooker, I'm not down for cooking, if I don't microwave I'm either frying it or grilling it. I don't count boiling as a cooking method for me cause the only thing I've ever boiled is pasta or noodles. Which is pretty much like microwaving. Regardless, I fry up my sausages, and then since I don't know if it's cooked or not, I like to pop it in the oven for a couple minutes. I mean, it's cool, and it works. So I'll take it out of the oven with my trusty Ove-glove (look into that, its schweet) and let it cool. Then I'll walk into my room, look up some sports stuff, and boom, go out to eat my sausages. The only problem is, I forget that the pan was IN THE OVEN. And that I had on an ove glove the first time I took it out. So I put my hand on the pan handle, which of course, was nice and burning. Dropped my pan, almost lost my precious sausages to that bitch the floor and ended up holding an ice pack for an hour or so till the pain subsided. Sucks huh? But hey, you would think, lesson learned right? Well...lets just say tonight wasn't the first time I've done that. Lets just say that it was like the 8th time?? Whatever, point is, I've done it way too much. Damm my short memory.

Looked at some programs for teaching English overseas. It's a bitch to apply so if your ever down I'd totally try to start early. Found out I had to get two reference letters so emailed my TEFL professor and my ESL teacher. Heard back from one so thats good, and the other one said she would so thats the hard part. Wait, the hard part is filling out all the paperwork. It's going to take a while but I'ma do this. I'm not so much scared thinking about leaving, more excited. And sad of course to be leaving behind my fam, my girl, my friends but hey, its nothing new for me. To be honest, I'm not used to staying in a place for more than 4 years tops. So Cali's a new record for me, been like what...almost 9 years now? Wouldn't change a thing if I had to, love this state. But you know, I'm always down to go back to Hawaii or Japan, miss those places too. It's kinda funny how all my old military friends reconnect with me thru facebook and they're int he most random of places. Lets see, one is in Idaho, the other is in Florida, ones at Tulane, ones at Arkansas, ones in Ohio. It's crazy but its also kinda cool knowing that they're out there still doing well.

I'm out like a lamp (I'll shine again later)

Flutius Pinocchio

Country of choice?

So something interesting happened today...in class!! What the eff? I actually learned something in class? NO EFFING WAY. Actually, to be fair, I learn things in class all the time, its just that I don't find it to be interesting. I know that I'm in college and that things are supposed to be different but it's not really. I'm not gonna go all hippy/conspiracy theorist on you but yeah, sometimes at the bigger universities it is just all about getting the degree. Which to some extent is my fault, cause I will be the first to tell you that college is what you make of it. You gotta put in the effort to see the results ya know? Regardless, we had a guest speaker today who taught Engrish in Korea for two and a half years. Before I listened to her, I had always been on the fence and leaning more toward teaching English in Japan. But I'll be durned, she made Korea sound like the bees knees. She said she saved at least one grand per month. Add that up over a year and thats like 10 g's. Thats a lot of money eh? And she totally talked about the culture, the weather, the people, the night life and all that. Basically let me know that yes, there are things to do in Korea, even though on a map it looks super tiny. Then again, so does Japan. And Hawaii. And people love those places. So yeah, thinking about Korea, gonna apply to Japan and Korea. Save up some money in either place, then try to teach in Europe for a year. I know. Big dreams, had to put it down on paper so I can either look back and be satisfied or disgusted with my failure. But you know, thats how it goes, shit happens.

Other than that, that's about it. Went to Albatross the other day. It's that super sic wit it Mexican restaurant that serves delicious Carne asada fries, carne asada burritos, carnitas, and more. California burritos! Almost forgot about that. The only bad thing is that I stuff my face whenever I go. Which is all good, it's just kinda weird to wake up the next morning, burp, and then taste mexican food. Shouldn't it have digested by then? Is that good? Did I just eat like carne asada from a cows ass? Who knows? Right? But most importantly of all, WHO CARES? It tasted good, so I ate it. And yeah, I'll pretty much eat anything...delicious. Eff insects and animals people in the US don't traditionally eat. Not saying that it's wrong to eat like crickets or gasp--dogs, but yeah, I'm not down for that. Couldn't eat my best friend! Dude. Balut or whatever that duck fetus stuff in Vietnam is...looks pretty gross. But hey, to each their own. I mean, I do like putting Honey, Ranch, and Hot sauce on my KFC snacker. HEY. Don't dig it till you've tried it. It's awesome. And I do like drinking the pickle juice that comes in the jar. Haha, my jar is like filled with pickles but half full cause the juice is just SO MUCH BETTER. Later gators.

Everybody's flukin for the weekends

p.s. TOP GUN DAY ON THURSDAY. I will only respond to Maverick, Iceman, Jester, Wizard, Viper, Stinger, or Goose on that day.

Pea soup

Thoughts thoughts lots of thoughts

So I'm sitting in class with my friend right? And it's boring as eff, but yay college lets learn blah blah. And we see this girl, and she's like totally just chilling like a dude, mondo slouched with her legs like super wide open. And my friend (She's a chick) is all like, "hehe that girl acts way too much like a dude." And I was like, why? Cause I didn't really know. Okay, fine I know. Just think about it, girls have the v word, and if they leave their legs open, well damm. I'll just let you do the dirty thinking. And no, I'm not saying I believe in this or think dirty thoughts every time a chicks slouched with her legs spread, I'm just saying that its just what some people believe. I mean, its generally believed that a girl is supposed to cross her legs right? (Not that I believe that, girls can do whatever they want). Haha, can you tell that I'm trying not to make you angry Jenn? Tee hee. It's my story woman!! Listen to it! (jk, love you). Anyways, so her legs are spread open (wow I hope people who skim this don't just read this part cuz thats nasty!) and I'm like, okay, so chicks supposed to keep they legs crossed when they're sitting. And I'm like, so whats that mean if a dude crosses his legs when he's sitting? Does that mean he's gay? I sure as hell hope not cause I effing cross my legs all the time. I'm crossing them right now! And I think one of the main reasons I do it is cause I bounce my legs all the time so if I cross them I won't be as active (aka annoying). Ah I dunno why I do it. Well I'm definitely not gay, but does that make me a metro? I mean damm, who the eff cares about this type of thing? Well obviously the guy writing about it right? Oh dears...well I'm over this topic.

What else was I thinking about? Oh, saw the po po today and I was thinking about how some people get mistreated by them, sue the 5-0 and make a lot of bank. So this biker cop just drives off to give someone a ticket and I'm like, what if he accidentally misapprehended me, and tased me bro? Then i could sue the Police department and make bank! Which brings me to my point, I know this is weird, but sometimes I wish for weird things. Like, I'll wish that I could get hit by a UPS truck but not too badly, maybe just fracture an arm or something, just so that I could sue them and get rich. But then, I just think to myself, dude, if you're wishing for something like that, and you're able to control the severity of the injury, why not just skip all the pain and wish for a million dollars? At which point I'm literally shocked by my impeccable logic and stop daydreaming. BOOM.

So learned some interesting things in class today. Bet you never ever thought you would hear me say that. Did you? And this goes for BOTH of my readers. Ha. You haters. Anyways, learned that we can make stem cells from our our skin cells. Woo. Suck on that all you anti-stem cell haters cause its an embryo stuff. And...I learned about tattoos that American Sailors had. One particular tattoo that had me in giggle fits all class was the Swallow tattoo. Apparently Sailors got a tattoo of a Swallow after logging in 5,000 miles on the ocean. Haha. Swallow. And then they got to Swallows after logging in 10,000 miles. Whoops did I say "to?" I meant "two";). By now if you haven't realized why I'm laughing then good for you. And if you do know why I'm laughing...tsk tsk! Grow up! You need a big tall glass of maturity! Bleh. Night kiddos

I know May 4th was yesterday but in honor of said day...

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAW! You're all clear kid now let's blow this thing and go home!"

May the 4th be with you!!!

Don't forget about next week's holiday, May 13th! Bet you a dollar you cant know what it is without Googling it.

-Flukey Flakes

Oooh said I just can't wait

So every time one of my friends gets a new computer, aka a macbook, something happens to my laptop that makes me wonder if Apple secretly has a deal with it. Like hey, Fluke's laptop, fuck up every time someone he knows gets a Macbook. That way, he'll want one. My friend just got one and the first thing my laptop does when I turn it on? It freezes. Like, everything looks fine. But nothing moves. The mouse cursor thingie just sits there at the center of my screen. It's like it's mocking me. Hey dude, check it out, your firefox internet button is sitting right above me. Go ahead, click it, log onto facebook...oh wait you can't. Cause I'm frozen bitch!! And no matter how hard I slide my finger on my touchpad or how many buttons i press on the keyboard, nothing happens! So I turned it off by holding down the power button, and I'm trying to figure out whats wrong. Oh, cool, apparently I had 18 important updates to install. Installed it, fixed the frozen problem, suck it Apple! Won't be getting a macbook...YET. hahahaha. I can't help it, those things are so smexy. Unlike the iPad. I mean, what was apple thinking? Honestly, whenever I hear iPad, I just think of like some kinda tampon thing for chicks. Gross!

Well, so I guess I'd update on my TEFL thing. I got a conversation partner now, his name is Sho. He's a good dude, same age as me, and from Japan. Usually we meet once a week, eat lunch for an hour or two. I guess what I'm supposed to do is help him with his conversational English. It's pretty good for him only having been in the US for like 3 weeks or so but he needs to work on some things. He didn't understand why I said dude so much, and I was like, dude, I don't know why either. But YEAH, just been doing that, it's helpful, gives me some experience with international students.

What else what else...LOST was on an off week so nothing new to discuss. Not like there is anything new to discuss with that show. It's pretty much the same old shit, 40 minutes of whatever and like a mind numbing revelation at the end of the episode that will rock your fucking world and make you want to watch it next week. Watched Kick-Ass today, pretty Kick -Ass, har har har no pun intended. Expensive though! Theaters don't even do student tickets anymore! I mean, I guess that makes sense, lets have the poor college students pay just as much money as everybody else. That way, they keep coming to our movie theaters because of how fucking cheap it is. AND i know, I'm failing on the no cussing thing but hey, whatever, I try to be a good boy but sometimes I just don't give a eff. Ha. Back to being all polite and shit. Whoops. Well damm, I better go start my paper. Going to own it. Pwn it. Destroy it. Fucking mash that shit up into a smoothie and drink it in one huge gulp. You know how we do.

Stay smexy,
I'm out like the fat kid in dodgeball!
-Fluke